College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
