he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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