maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
