i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Where is the hickey?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
His nipple licking is glorious
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