at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
