I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize