ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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