somebody snuck up and got me drunk
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
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His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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