just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
