The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Every concussion has its silver lining
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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