i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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