i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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