4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
