cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
