somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
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I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
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Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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