The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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