Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm passing your future prison.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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