Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just invented taco cereal.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
