Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
a search helicopter?!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize