I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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