Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I have post one night stand depression
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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