Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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