I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
