I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
