UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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