check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize