Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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