We won't sleep together?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
