DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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