How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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