I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
