Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize