How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize