Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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