The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
