The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
