i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
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Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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