He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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