I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
