i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
