my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
