I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
