We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
