office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
