It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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