peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
