im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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