You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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