No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
