kristin has been a bad kristin
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
How does one acquire holy water?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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