just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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