spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
