Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
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