i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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