just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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