She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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