Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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