i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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