i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize