You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize