My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
