She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
