it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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