CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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